| the values we accept, determine the choices we will make! Therefore the primary attraction of every individual to another is determined by those values. The secondary commitment required for a sustained relationship: is am I willing to pay this price? The primary cause of woman is security. The primary cause of man is, “can you balance my life”? So the question of human marriage then becomes: Are you able to pay, or are you worth this price? CAN WE AGREE! |
ATTRACTION, the assembly or development describing commitment. More simply: WHY do men and women choose each other; for sex/ child/ or life?
We begin with the elements of time, each is measured by the distance we will share/ each is confronted by the reality of what loneliness means/ each will have a body that deteriorates, because life is not designed in time, for more.
Given these parameters the questions arise: WHY, do I desire to share life with someone else? The answer is, we do each have something to gain: I can do this for you, and am willing too/ you can do something for me, and have consented to that cause. Therefore we both gain something desirable. It makes the journey of each “easier”.
WHY, does loneliness exist? The answer, “beautiful only goes, so far”! Which means, even though life and body and planet are amazing things as designed. The consequence of time reveals: beauty is not enough, to fill the gap that exists between life, and its struggle to be happy. Therefore happiness decides the willingness to commit: to time spent with you/ if allowed. So we ask: WHAT does happiness truly mean, & WHERE do I find it, within myself or someone else?
The foundation of that answer is: happiness begins in you! It is found no where else, by you; until you provide “the heart” to make it so.
So we ask, WHAT is heart? Here the answer confronts us, with our own decision to participate as a friend, who cares! Or through the acceptance of selfishness, as an enemy, who does not care. Heart simply reveals that choice, and its purpose through commitment established in time. Therefore heart is: the essence of what is inside of you, revealed by your true desire. Desire confronts us as a choice: are you/ or are you not willing to pay the price for this decision. That varies with the purpose described.
We then ask: WHAT IS HAPPINESS, and how does it relate to attraction/ acceptance/ and commitment?
The answer is, happiness reveals the ascension of truth inside, because we not only understand: the miracle of our existence is a gift. But “I choose” to respect that gift within ourselves, and each other; as the knowledge which exists, to prove even more love can be found. Consequently life is a journey, and it does contain a destiny for which we may struggle to find: the ending of “simply self” & the beginning of soul. Soul is a relationship with our CREATOR. Happiness assembles the journey, which grants that rise in truth: by knowledge. I am more, than I could conceive to be: so say the miracles of life itself. Therefore happiness is: the relationship you share with truth, respect, and reality as designed by knowledge, understanding, and the wisdom to accept, “life is more in every conceivable way, than just me”!
Having attained the ability to “see beyond yourself”. Gives us the accountability: to choose “surrounded by miracles”/ clearly, built by love. The question is: HOW, do I share this experience of myself through caring, and express these passions of appreciation for life; which are called the evidence of, “love”?
To understand the question, is to contemplate and reveal: the essence of love, is to set aside “everything that does not belong in me”/ because it is not love. Thereby the critical question does become: what is love, that I may recognize what does not belong? Removing it from my soul; to find purity beyond the struggle to rise, above; simply self/ as strength!
The answer is, that love is everything we cherish, without a price. Or, this is my gift (free) to you! Love is not, “a get out of jail card/ so to speak”. Love does not erase, truth. Love does not present right or even wrong; if it is innocently conceived. Rather love is, at its core: the possibility “we can be, as if just one”.
The foundation of that statement is the creation of a journey, which we then share equally; as best we can.
Illumination of that fact; is best relayed with the understanding, “hate is a decision: you are worthless to me”. While, love is the acceptance of your life”, without measurement/ as friend. Friend means: we can spend time together, “without a price” being paid.
The evidence of acceptance is appreciation. The reality expressed; in the honesty of real terms, without a price or a purpose, other than: “that I value you”. Therefore value sets the standard, in terms of man and woman: by which your attraction to each other will be measured.
We do measure each other, apart from love: because the reality of having children, carries the consequence “You chose this person/ fully knowing children were expected to participate in our relationship”. Without the purpose of children: attraction carries a lesser meaning. Therefore where children are conceived of: added to the value of your love/ is the reality of your decisions, and how they relate to the life we will then share. Since none can be certain what the future holds; this should be given only minimal consideration of the three variables which construct “a home”. You measure each other all the time, in every possible way; so it will not be discussed other than remember this. LOVE does not measure, it responds with kindness.
So then the question is now: kindness, and how does that relate to the basic need for building a home, in this life: to separate ourselves, from all that is not greatly valued; “to rest from our participation in time”?
We begin with kindness itself, and recognize this is a gift from the heart of someone who has a passionate embrace with the purposes of love. Even if they have no other true outlet, it is still the clear evidence of heart. Wherever there is heart, (I care about more than just me)/ there is at least a little “love”. Consequently passions arise, “from a seed” so to speak! Passion confronts us with a choice: are we/ or are we not, going to search for the grace and beauty we believe this world can be? Passion as a limited choice is: “can I, participate with you/ to search for the beauty we might be together”. Each arises from a seed (little things, which are known to grow over time; into “a surprise”) if you don’t recognize the seed itself.
We all have needs. We all have baggage. We all have choices to make/ choices we made/ choices we regret: therefore it IS common, to understand the necessity to “fix this other person/ and let them fix me” is required. With rare exception: EVEN if you don’t think so, its commonly true. Both men and women.
So the question of home; to rest our soul, in a place we feel security/ accepted/ and understood without being measured: restrict and restrain the possibilities of commitment, between male and female. Or more simply: you must match to a realistic degree those feelings of secured, honestly accepted, & deliberately released from measurement (as best we can)/ that are expected. Or this is not home.
So we return to happiness, and add in value, as the construction of love turns to acceptance.
Happiness lives inside of me, so it can be shared with you. Which means it is your responsibility to be happy within yourself; thereby sharing the value you represent through love, as the acceptance of my life caring, about your life. Don’t have to share, that is a choice; which may or may not be appropriate in all situations.
The ability, or choice to be happy, searches self: to discard everything beyond survival (as is want, pride, power, etc)/ and accept, the amazing truth that miracles of living existence are. Thereby self becomes purified, with a purpose that is “ALIVE”.
BEING ALIVE, is a relationship with life itself, that is not confronted by survival or even choice; but extends from the knowledge of love and beauty, as is clearly known in each miracle of life and planet. In open display of love and realities so far beyond the existence of self/ that it is unimaginable, other than as love. These things are VALUED!
The evidence of thought clearly assembled by life: is a passage that leads to Creation itself. But that is a different topic; not here.
WITHIN this happiness as composed by value, are the means to construct a relationship with GOD , our Creator! By altering our existence from self, to love: we have entered within a destiny (what we can achieve together).
In far lesser terms: by understanding what is “the miracle of you”/ and the creation of time, that you have undertaken to participate in life as love or as heart exposed. The ability to attract widens, as time itself proves “what a value you are”. By proving your existence “builds a home” that I can depend upon; for me too. A commitment extends, for those who desire, or can honestly accept: the blessing of “your world, joined in mine”.
So lets look at your “common human reality”, instead of mine: which is, “JUST TELL ME, how to get what I want”! Just give me what I want/ and don’t tell me nothing but what I want to hear!
At its minimum levels; the choices made by male and female conform to these:
1. I find value in your sex; what I get to touch, see, or believe “is mine”/ NOT theirs! As in “I don’t want to share”; so say both male and female.
2. I find value in your money or abilities: do you have what I want?
3. I find value in your physical beauty; are you a trophy to me, or others?
4. I find value in your mental health: can we tolerate each other?
5. I find value in your physical prowess; you going to help, or quit on me. Can you do, what I want to do?
6. I find value in the securities you offer: is this comfortable, and friendly?
7. I find value in how you treat, or don’t treat me. Are you going to abuse, use, or let me be free?
These are the fundamentals, and each is measured in accordance with common or personal social references. As in: does someone else want you too? In which case, I need to make up my mind.
Of the values created above, one of the primary question is: HOW does sex, interrelate with my ability to find marriage or not?
For men, the answer is: do you desire her honestly? And does that translate into a shared physical relationship, wherein she is equal and important: instead of a “rubbing post” for you. Don’t try to control with kissing, or anything else. SHARE the experience of sex, with CARING about each other. More simply “make her happy too/ or sex won’t last”.
For women, the answer is: men are divided into three basic groups. Those who want a trophy. Boys who want to play with their toy. And men, who are willing to share their lives, by openly searching for someone who can fill my need. Need means, “I lack something” in my life. Sex is not a need, it is a chemical development; attached to a specific kind of excitement. The result of which is a desire, that comes and goes over time.
That means more simply: the male persons who want a trophy, what is most important to them is. I got/ what you couldn’t get: “winner”! Therefore you are a game, and a prize; which means other men must want you too.
Boys, no matter what age; have never gotten control over their penis. They don’t understand the concept of “a price is attached”/ and they won’t understand why you are upset, even if you got pregnant. They never developed inside. Or, “it’s a boy” if that’s enough; you can probably teach him over time, at least a little; MAYBE. If you like children, it may be enough.
Men on the other hand: are clearly driven by the realities of “a lifetime, that is missing something they do hope for”. It is responsibility and commitment combined in a search for “woman”. That woman, is found: when “I see”, in a moment unrehearsed (by chance). Something I value, as intrinsic to the life I live, or the purposes of my own heart.
Such as: the girl who became my wife, was noticed “sitting in a window, clearly thinking about life”. Thinking about life is, absolutely intrinsic to my existence: it is a necessity, to me.
Divorced in two years, because a world threatened with extinction; literally is, more important than anything else, including love: to me. More complex; but that is the basic cause; or it would have been different.
Not everyone can be “simply married”. Love is not a binder cable/ it is, or it should be, a blessing; even if “you or I cannot stay”. But that, is NOT how women see marriage or life. When you desire someone to stay with you, because of love: IT IS very hard to see them leave. That simple.
Women should understand, that men grow up looking, for what is next: “I must prepare, life requires work and decisions”. That is met with women, who then take over the life of man: with their needs. Demanding: if I gamble with this/ then I may not be able to meet my responsibilities known to be coming. Even if this could profit us both/ still can’t be wrong, at least not without consent. Some then ask “the woman” some don’t. Nonetheless, moments affect us all.
In contrast to this, women grow up wandering which men they can get. If “corralled” at an early age/ they may hate you later for restricting their freedom. Even if they made their own decision; doesn’t matter, you can be blamed, if they don’t feel ready! Consequently you were controlling their lives/ their future/ and their existence today; which makes you suddenly, the enemy.
As dating progresses: when men get sexually satisfied: somebody wants me.
Men commonly search for a simple relationship: “I pay this/ you give me that”. I am happy enough. Women commonly search, for a complex relationship: “fill my needs, and I will let you feel me”. Our world could be better together, IF I invite you in! The difference is: man commonly does not want an intimate relationship, until “later in life”/ whereas woman does, as soon as she commits, to sex.
As men and women grow older, their values change into “don’t ruin my world/ I don’t know if I care enough to change; as all relationships require work, and usually money. Women add in: “I just want to know, if I can still get men”. While men add in: “I am getting old/ and want to feel young”. Nothing made me feel more like a man, than when “girls, first became women”; I want to go back, “to that”!
In terms of sex: nobody owns your body but you/ it is your temple, inside and out. Take care of it, “its all you get”/ like it or not! It’s your LIFE on earth, respect it.
Given that it matters: the question is, WHAT is right or wrong, with having sex? If you are of an age to take responsibility for the choices you make/ then nothing. If not, it is premature, even if you do it anyway; there are costs. Opening needs/ changing the future/ becoming drug dependent (sex uses chemicals that are “drugs”) so on. People both male and female, “get their heart broken easily” with sex; particularly at a young age. Not innocent; because you now know, after the tears fall, “this isn’t a game anymore”. Choices must be made.
Apart from consequences, sex is a completely natural act/ therefore it is “right” to participate. It is wrong to judge: YOU don’t have to bear the cost/ so leave them alone; unless you do. Then its simply: no good answers here/ lifetime memories.
In all other matters involving sex, the reality is simply this: you have a right to choose. But you cannot then say, “I didn’t do it”/ you must live with your result. Break a heart, because you didn’t care: if that person “was a child of GOD” / and there are eternal consequences for him or her. There will be eternal consequences for you as well.
Seems enough.
I forgot to mention, that timing is critical to every relationship that lasts. Like a motor, if the timing is correct; it runs well, just like its suppose too/ and everybody is happy. If the timing is incorrect, even if everything else is perfect/ it may or may not even start. Timing is at its source, the ability to understand the slight differences which initiate an appropriate, expected response. That comes with listening correctly (throw out want, pride, etc)/ and let that person tell you, what matters at this moment in time. If you can hear them, and respond appropriately; you will be considered a friend. “Is, that what you desire”; because if a need is present, they will want to do this more? If not as a friend, then you can hear them with compassion, but make it clear: “I have little time for you”. Not rejection/ reality, I desire someone else!
Timing without the injection of need, is an avenue (easy way) for conversations to begin: do something that invites a comment/ always respond politely. They may have friends! Learn to say yes, to a controlled simple date, in a public place/ during daylight hours. If you are always complaining “too busy”/ then expect people to believe you are too busy for them: isn’t that what you told them? Find a way, to say, “I have or will make time for you”! If caught with “can’t today”/ immediately respond with: I would appreciate the time with you “tomorrow”.
Timing for sex, is a woman’s choice/ but you must understand what she is trying to tell you: approach gently. Unfortunately early in the relationship, if you refuse “anything sex”/ most will immediately be angry, and most likely not want to see you again. It is a price of dating, “good reason or not” makes little difference.
Sex before marriage, lets you know what you get. Simple as that!
This is compliments of “the spiritual woman inside me”. I have worked long and hard, clearly tired of it; this is written at her request. its complicated.
Spiritual essence is; a reality explained by the presence of life beyond time. Therefrom, it is a relationship with life, NOT time. Elemental truth, is a discovery of law; that law exists, by controlling the universe itself/ whether you Believe it or not. It is here, you simply haven’t found it yet!
More correctly, you cannot attain a relationship with life beyond time, except by soul. Soul cannot be ascended into, unless you are willing to become at your own core, “fundamental identified truth”. However once beyond the boundary of time itself, as an element of thought. When you enter a spiritual truth, and understand it/ like other knowledge attained: you then own it, and it comes back with you into time. If you enter within a spiritual truth and do not understand it/ that truth has the option to keep you beyond time, or return to time in a partnership with you; controlling that reality within the boundaries of “laws which govern it”. Turns out, “I can be shocked into alright, I will do it your way”. Always for the right cause; because without doubt, I did finish this work, ten years beyond the point when male in me was finished with you. Would not have been, “without spiritual woman” redesigning that attitude. Its complicated/ don’t try, you can’t!
Believe it or not. I am: Apparently done, with everything, “but woman”.
